Insensitive? Stupid? Devil? Or Asshole!!! Hahaha!!! I can’t find the most appropriate words to match to people I hate! People like HELL! Do I sound so angry??? Inhale… Exhale… Inhale… Exhale… Damn!
I’m in my usual afternoon delight (LOL). Chatting with my YM friends and my sister Janice while browsing my friendster account and visiting blog sites, when suddenly, a YM buddy went online and sent me an IM. My cousin… I’ll call her M. She’s on my list of buddies for so long but hasn’t had a chat with her even once. First time… and she’s busted already!!! I think my blood went up to my head! She has just ruined my day!
When M buzzed me, I was excited at first since we haven’t seen each other for months already. M and I were classmates in High School and College. She already has 2 sons and a jobless husband! Do I sound mean? I am sorry, I know it’s not a good thing to say since I myself is also jobless! Hahaha!!! But in my case it’s by choice! And I am a housewife! Unlike for some people who knew that they have so much obligations, but instead of working for the family, keeps lying in bed all day long! Just like a househusband??? LOL!LOL!LOL!
GOD, Please forgive me! I just wanted to take away the anger in me! If not, I think my mind could blow up!!! If this is the way to ease my pain and anger, please let it be! AMEN!
Months of no communication, all I got was stress! HAHAHA! She asked why there is no baby yet for me. I answered her usual answer such as… In God’s time… No blessing yet… I’m patient… I don’t lose hope… I’m not tired of waiting…etc… but she’s so stupid to prolong the discussion and told me that she’s working hard to save more money since Christmas is fast approaching. So I told her, “why are you doubling your effort to work so hard? You only have 2 kids”. Good thing I am not so mean like her, I should have said…”why don’t you tell your husband to look for a job so that she can help you earn for the family?” But I’m not like that….I’d rather keep my silence! Or I’d rather speak it up in my blogs! Just like what I’m doing right now! She told me that she needs to work hard for the gifts she needs to buy for the ascending numbers of her godchildren. It’s not a bad idea or bad words to say, but until she said some things which I hate to hear the most, such as...I am already waiting for your child… I will volunteer to be a godmother… What’s taking you so long?... You should double your effort… and the worst thing of all??? Are you the one with the problem? Or your husband??? STUPID!!! IDIOT!!! Everybody’s welcome to tag a name to this unworthy creature!!!
I know I’ve been used to this scenarios… For the longest time, I’ve been numb, deaf and mute! I thought I’ve taken things like this lightly… I thought I could just smile and laugh with it… but all things have limitations. Just imagine me against a dozen or more of stupid people! I am widely open when it comes to issues of my being childless but to a certain point that not all people I know can have equal share of my stories in life. In my blogs, I don’t hide anything about my emotions, anger, pain, worries and sentiments. Some may feel offended and others may feel sensitive especially to some entries wherein I am vocal about how I wanted things to be when it comes to being tactful and considerate with my feelings. But if you are really a friend, you need not to worry about the negative things that you’ve read in my blogs, IT”S DEFINITELY NOT MEANT FOR YOU!!! You need not to feel guilty or offended if you know that you are with me in my trials and journey. You know what you are and who you are in my life!!!! Unless, you are not sincere and honest with me… I need not pity nor empathy… I just want a TRUE FRIEND. Someone who reaches my hands, but touches my heart.
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