trauma

Last Saturday was a very exhausting day!!! it was a day that tested my strength as a responsible daughter, sister and person all in one... I woke up early since i was the one responsible for my mama's catering business since she's in Korea (but of course with the help of my Tita Merly). I gathered all the things that we needed and headed to the place where we prepare our catering (at our canteen). when my husband parked the car, i saw that my tita Merly was already inside the canteen. I was all smiles and teasing her while walking to the door since she was not late that morning (she's always late btw :)) But her face was serious, and then she asked me if went there last night... then I said no. Then i was shocked when she said "Bhe, I'm afraid we were robbed". When I looked inside, as if it was hit by a typhoon!!! It was all shattered!!! Some of the things were missing! When I went down at the working area of the kitchen, i felt my body froze when i realized that 2 LPG tanks were missing!!! A few cases of softdrinks, canned goods, utensils, my favorite waffle maker, etc. Oh no! Not at this time!!! And when i looked up at the ceiling, there's a big hole and i knew that the robbers went in through the ceiling!!! I felt like crying!!! I didn't know what to do at that moment!!! I immediately called my mama and papa in Korea and told them what happened, of course they cannot do anything about it, and as the one who's in charge of the family and businesses, i should be the one thinking solutions to problems!!! i just thank my husband for assisting me in times like this. Good thing that my two uncles (my mom's brothers) immediately came upon learning what happened. it was a great help... just having someone to depend to... of course even if we are old enough that we can stand on our own, in times like this, we still need our "olds" to give us assistance to all things which we think we're weak. But "the show must go on"! we immediately found ways to prepare for our catering. Good thing that the robbers did not took the stuffs and foods that we prepared ahead of time, if not? i may not know what to do!!! We reported it to the barangay captain, and we have learned that we were not the only ones that were robbed... series of robbery occurred that same night!!! The neighboring canteens and other business establishment were prepared since they were given a hint by some people in the neighboring areas. They already anticipated for they saw several suspicious men wandering in the area. We were just unfortunate that we weren't advised since we didn't operate the day before the break-in happened. It's only material things... things that we can buy anytime.

But the trauma is still in my mind. I can't sleep at night, especially when it's raining so hard!!! I'm afraid that the robbers may come back since they didn't get all the things that they wanted (they left a few items). I also fear that robbers may also break-in at our house, and my two siblings, Ara and Akeem, are the only ones left and our house is still a few blocks away. Every time I wake up in the morning, i immediately go to my parents house, to check if my siblings are okay. My parents will be back barely 2 weeks from now, but for me it's a long wait!!! i know my fears will subside only if they're back already. For now, i get my strength from my husband Ernie. I am having a hard time forgetting what happened and worrying what may happen. I am stressed and tensed, maybe because i am the one in-charge of everything (with the help of my husband) and also because it's not about myself that i only care for, but most of all, because i have to attend to my other two siblings. i just pray so hard to the Lord, that nothing will happen again and that all of us will be safe especially my beloved Ara and Akeem!

APPRECIATING MY PARENTS

It's been more than a few weeks since my last entry..So many things happened! I was so busy in the day that i couldn't stay up so late. I was physically exhausted since my parents left for Seoul, Korea to visit my sister. I was the one in-charged with their business and of course to take care for my younger siblings. Very tiring but i understand... It's my obligation since I'm the eldest in the family. So many things happened... challenging!!! But at least it made me more independent and responsible.

From the day they left (Oct. 18), i felt a little bit uncomfortable... i felt alone as if i was the one leaving! LOL! Well, that's me! So melodramatic! hahaha... As if i carry the whole world! Just imagine! waking up early to go to the market as early as 530 AM? (and i must buy all the stuffs i need in less than an hour since my husband who drives me to the market should be home by 630 since he has to prepare and should leave for office by 730! imagine we did that for a week now and we will still be doing it for another 2 weeks! and i'll just have a quick shower and again leave to go to my mama's business! It was just a week, but i felt so exhausted! Super-duper-over-to-the-max!!!!!!!!! plus, minding my father's business. he left me with several index cards, with instructions on it regarding his business. while attending to my mama's business, i attend to my father's bank transactions and other financial dues that i have to go from one place to another to complete a certain transaction! whew! that's a lot!!! When i get home in the afternoon, or should i say, barely evening, i'm all burned out! and i still have to prepare our dinner since my 2 younger brother and sister eats with us until my parents arrives! sometimes, i cannot remember how i went to bed. All i can remember was the time i closed my eyes! LOL! Good thing my husband sometimes gives me a massage and that's the last thing i remember mostly in my evenings!

Maybe the saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder" is so true! hahaha! if there's a chance for us to chat (almost everyday though... especially with me! LOL), my sister ara, my brother akeem, my husband ernie and me all squeezed-in in our room while waiting for janice and my parents to go online! and we chat until we feel dizzy and sleepy!!! I can feel their longing for us... i can feel that they miss us especially ara and akeem. This is actually the very first time that they've been away for more than a couple of weeks. And as an elder sister, i also give extra special care and attention to my younger siblings.

so tiring! so exhausting! But now, I "APPRECIATE" my parents more! i realized how they have worked so hard to give us good life especially good education. imagine, we are 4 children and they have worked so hard to sent us to decent schools. I remember those days herein my mama would go to bed so late and wakes up so early especially if she have scheduled caterings. I can just imagine how tiring it was for her!!! Now I understand why she always complain that she cannot finish the "teleserye" she has been following because she fell asleep!!! So even if my day is a super -duper exhausting one, i never complained! i just put in my mind: MINE IS JUST FOR 3 WEEKS! WHILE MY PARENT'S HAS BEEN DOING THIS FOR 3 DECADES!!! I am so proud of my parents and i love them more!!!

a glimpse of my life with concordia

Concordia Children's Services... at last i remember the orphanage that was once a part of my life in Manila. The place where I found solitude with the abandoned kids who touched my heart. Concordia Children's Services rents a small house near the Stop 'n' Shop jeepney terminal in old Manila. There, volunteers look after up to 25 abandoned babies at a time. They're eventually put up for adoption, but several have already grown up at Concordia, waiting for the time to bring them and their adoptive parents together.


My being a part of Concordia started when I volunteered for an outreach program of the company where i was working at that time. At first, I decided to be part of it for a selfish reason: to runaway from work! at least I'll be able to escape from at least a hundred of calls... calls from irate subscribers!!!! But it turned out to be a rewarding deed!!! I never thought that it would be a hooking experience ... yes, I've been a frequent visitor in the orphanage. Sparing a few amount from my salary didn't hurt me much!!! LOL! Buying diapers, milk formulas, and a little groceries means a lot to the kids!!! And sobrang saya talaga!! it was so fulfilling... i think at that time i sacrificed a few things or should i say my little luxuries(LOL) such as: a few issues of my favorite mags, avoiding to buy stuffs for my Elmo collections, acting blind whenever i passed by new display of girbaud bags! urgh! a few sips of starbucks coffee! LOL! (i remember, a friend named Maya also did this sacrifice for the sake of concordia's children hehehe i know she'll be able to read this blog!) and of course, trading my malling time... volunteer service for the kids instead!


During our visits there, we cannot hug or carry the kids. It is their rules as they are afraid that when we hug them they will want more and the keepers there cannot manage to give them that. This is pretty sad right?!! as you can see, me and my friends maya and candy broke the rule!!! just look at these pictures! LOL!




These past few weeks, i can't understand why i always think of concordia! A few times i dreamt of Concordia in my sleep! I don't know why i feel a longing for the things that i have done in the past for Concordia's children... I actually told my husband Ernie, about how I'd love to do those things again... and if ever i'd have a chance to have a time to visit Concordia's, i'd love to! And he said that one time, he would go with me to visit the place again.

As we talk about the plan of visiting the orphanage, i assessed my self! I've asked myself so many times... why am I so determined to visit the orphanage??? Is it because I am childless up to now? I also asked my husband for his opinion... on how he feels about me going back to the orphanage... he simply said... i don't need other's opinions... i just have to live by my reasons! i am the only one who can justify my actions... oh maybe he's right! now, i am so sure!!! my being childless is the not the very reason why i wanted so much to visit the orphanage... adoption is far from my mind and it's not the reason as what others may think... i just love the kids... i'm just touched by the noble works of the live -nannies (some nannies are teenagers who've already grown up at Concordia's) providing round-the-clock care under the supervision of a kind, grey-haired lady known as Ms. Bet.

i really wish that i'd be able to visit the orphanage again anytime soon! I hope before the year ends!!!

bonding...

it was "one-feel-good sunday" for us! my husband and I woke up early. we heard mass at exactly 7:00 am and we went to the city to have breakfast. Since the weather was so fine, we decided to look for the crib which i have promised to my friend jeanny who just gave birth a week ago. unfortunately, we haven't found the kind of crib that we've been looking for. We decided to drop by at Villa Jesusa, a small resort in a nearby city, but we went there just for sight-seeing and not for swimming (we were not prepared... but we wanted though!). On our way home, we were thinking if we would go back to go swimming... but when we reached home, we felt lazy... opened the television... and to our dismay, it's not the regular program which is supposed to air that time, it's a boxing telecast (good grace! we don't have cable-tv connection yet since the super typhoon Reming!... Since we're not a boxing fanatic (unless it's a filipino fighter), my hubby and I did something else to surpass our boredom! hay! life!!! It's a good thing there were no power interruptions as what we've experienced a few weeks ago!!!

i went inside our room and started my WWW life!!! LOL! i browsed and browsed and browsed until i got tired of it and lost interest... i went out and ernie was strumming his guitar , the usual thing that he does every weekends. i sat beside him and i realized that he bought the song book that he was wanting to buy several weeks ago! hmmm!!! i told him not to buy the song book since it was so expensive and i thought that it's just a waste of money and not so so so practical! but i never expected that it would become one way of having us bond together! imagine... that day, ernie wants me to sing all the songs that i know from that song book while he plays the guitar!!!! at first, i was energetic to sing the songs... (though it was not a pleasant one to hear... good thing there's no violent reactions from our neighbors). hmmm.... maybe my singing voice is not so bad at all! urgh!!!! But as time passed by, my throat became soar and my energy was exhausted.... then i realized... singing career is not an easy one huh! hahahha ! A BIG JOKE!!!! 4 hrs of non-stop "vocalization"!!!! good thing PDA is over! hahaha! but it was such a nice day... one happy bonding moment for the two of us! before dawn, at last our "jamming" session's finished and i was shocked when my husband told me.... ok! tomorrow then...... HUHUHU! not again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thanks marycel!

thanks marycel for being so thoughtful!!! another addition to my strawberry fever. LOL!!! and of course, it's now an additonal "ornament" in my room!!! hehehe! this is so cute! siempre ta strawberry....

thanks cel!!!

honesty

Not long ago, I got into a topic with a friend about honesty? or should I say about being frank? Is a little white lie to spare someone’s feelings a good thing? Is honesty really the best policy… It made me curious about my attitude... I can't consider it as being plastic or not being honest to someone.

I took an honesty quiz online…Here is my score and what it said about me…

Your score is 56. You try to tell the truth most of the time but like the rest of us are torn when the truth may hurt someone you love or when it seems to be more destructive than helpful. When faced with having to tell a little white lie, you know the ins and outs but you get lost when it comes to telling a truth that may cause harm or hurt. You’re only human and nobody likes to be the bearer of bad news but in the end you choose to bury the truth far too often.

We all like to think that we are good and honest people but even the best among us can be untruthful at times. We are only human and we all make mistakes, we all tell fibs and we all engage in a little dishonesty from time to time. But there are those among us who take things to far and make a habit out of being a sneak. So where do you fit on the honesty spectrum?


For me, as long as it doesn't affect my life, my relationship with a certain person - it's just fine to stay unaffected unless it's not tolerable already... it's just a matter of being open-minded and sensitive to one's feelings! It's more inappropriate and inconsiderate to just throw comments or opening your mouth without thinking twice or thrice... you'll never know... you are already hurting someone close to your heart. Just think about how you'll feel if it's the other way around...

pregnants and new mom!

it's been a while since my last blog... i've been busy with something else, but now i'm in the mood...again! let me tell you about the 3 women who just received a special gift from our Almighty. my cousin is now pregnant!!! she just got married last May, and now she's carrying an angel in her womb! she told me that it's an unexpected pregnancy... it's much better than an unwanted pregnancy!!! She was just a little tensed and pressured since it's out of their plan... they want to have a baby 2 yrs from now! i actually scolded her... it's not everyday that God showers blessing especially like theirs! i just told her the magic words... "JUST THINK OF ME". You'll never wish to exchange luck with me...

Another friend Sandra is also on the family way! i was really shocked when her husband Edison told us about the news! They just got married last July... and now a few months from now... they will be called... A FAMILY! I am happy for them...she deserves real happiness of a wife and a mom! that's why i really warned her husband Edison to be nice to her ALWAYS!!! She's such a nice friend!

And the best of them all is the new mom Jeanny!!! She gave birth a couple of days ago to a very healthy baby girl! imagine! more than 7 lbs!!! she's really cute! so adorable!! i just wonder how her hair would look like? curly just like her mommy jeanny?? owsss!!! anyways, not to worry!!! hair straightening treatment would always be considered! LOL!

Congratulations to these 3 lucky ladies! You are all blessed!!!